It's no secret that I'm kind of a health and fitness freak. Certified RunNerd, right here.
Because of this I follow a lot of health and fitness blogs and instagrams accounts and pin funny and helpful things.
Recently I've noticed a trend in these blogs. A certian saying that is often hashtagged.
"Fit moms make fit kids" or another version "Healthy moms make healthy babies"
And I cringe.
Here's why.
That's simply not true. It's also very hurtful to those of us who in spite of our health and fitness, our taking good care of ourselves leading up to and during pregnancy were not blessed to give birth to healthy kids. I did every thing right and was very healthy during my pregnancy but my baby was still born with a defective heart. I have friends who are even healthier than me and their children have been born with too many or too chromosomes. Or cleft pallets. Or Down Syndrome. Or Autism Spectrum Disorder. Or who deliver premature babies. Or who develop cancer very early in childhood. Or who have miscarriages or still births. Or suffer from infertility.
Heart breaking.
When you become a mom to a baby who is born "not healthy" you are suddenly shouldered with a lot of guilt.
"If my baby wasn't born healthy, it's obviously something that I did wrong."
When Pierson's cardiologist was telling us that Pierson had a congenital heart defect he made it a point to look right in my eyes and say "You didn't do anything to cause this. You did nothing wrong."
It takes a while, a lot of specialist, a lot of grace, and a lot of other parents who have been there and sometimes professional counseling to finally have healing and peace over this guilt, as misplaced as it may be - To know that you didn't hurt your baby - It's not your fault that your child has suffered and will possibly suffer their entire lifetime.
But that phrase, that hash tag, that idea that "fit moms make fit kids" or "healthy moms make healthy kids" that somehow caring for yourself or good health = guaranteed baby health makes you feel like a failure - like maybe you didn't do a good enough job and maybe in fact, this is your fault.
So maybe, we, as a health and fitness community, as moms, stop using that saying.
There's no point in saying it. If it's hurtful, if it's scientifically not proven true -- maybe we just end it.
I realise that this is a catchy marketing phrase and it's fun to hash tag -- but it also picks at a scab and hurts for a lot of women, moms or moms to be out there. I doubt anyone sat around and maniacally laughed and thought "This will hurt, let's use it" -- but that's why I wanted to make it public. If it hurts my heart, surely there are others hurting from the same thing.
So that's why I wanted to speak up. Maybe it can stop hurting others starting now. Maybe this is one piece of artillery we can take out of the mommy wars. It can only help, right?
